


Never Touch the Braid

by USA_Tiger



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:17:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/USA_Tiger/pseuds/USA_Tiger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very old, silly little oneshot that was based of a dream a friend of mind hand and asked me to write. Relena does something very stupid and now Duo is coming to collect his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Touch the Braid

Never Touch the Braid

               By: USA Tiger

 

Disclaimer: Mobile Suit Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise.

 

Author Note: Total crack fic, character death in the form of Relena. Based off a dream a friend of mine had and she asked me to write this based off that dream therefore this story should not be taken seriously in way, shape, or form.

 

               It was a dark night but it wasn't stormy. If fact, it was really calm. A figure slunk across the lawn toward one of the many mansions Quatre owned. Relena allowed herself a small smirk as she easily sneaked in and crept up the stairs to the floor that each of the ex-Gundam pilots slept. The first door she opened relieved a room with very few things. But was in there was from China, which gave a clue to who room this was. Relena closed the door, making little noise as she did so. But then again, Wufei is a very light sleeper. He blinked sleepily at the door then put his head back down on his pillow, dismissing it as a dream.

 

               Then next room had even less than the first. Relena gazed at the teen asleep in the bed. She reached out a hand to brush Heero's bangs from his forehead but stopped herself.

 

               _' I need to complete what I came here for. Then my Heero will come running to me once I've taken care of that American pest._ ' Relena thought to herself as she crept back out of the room.

 

               “Third time a charm." She whispered to herself as she walked over to the bed that contained Duo Maxwell. Relena grinned evilly as she reach into her pocket as took out a pair of scissors and used them to cut off Duo's braid. With her prize in her hand, she once again reached into her pocket and drew out a sickening pink envelope and laid it on Duo's pillow beside his head. With her mission completed, Relena sneaked off the grounds.

 

               The next morning, Duo groaned as the sunlight hit him in the face. As he finally sat up, he wondered why his head felt so much lighter. Something was missing, but he couldn't place a finger on what. He ran his fingers through his bangs and meant run it along the length of his braid but as it was, quickly found out that his long hair was missing. He turned around hoping to see the end of his long chestnut brown braid lying behind him. All he felt was his now shorter hair brush lightly against his neck. He noticed the Peacecrap pink envelope on his pillow and picked it up. After reading its contents, he quickly got up and threw some clothing, all with a look of murder in his eye and the letter clutch in his hand.

 

               “By Allah, what happen to your hair?" Quatre asked as Duo walked into the living room where the other pilots were. The other boys looked from what they were doing to notice something in deed had happen to Duo hair. It was now just passed his shoulder, not much longer than Wufei's when his own hair was down from his tight ponytail.

 

               “This is what happen." The American said as he gave the Arabian the pink letter then walked over to the weapon cabinet than just happen to be in the room. He opened the glass doors and got out a shotgun. Quatre read the letter out loud to the other pilots.

 

               ' _Dear Duo Maxwell,_

_When you have woken up, you will have found your braid gone. I'll have you know that I have done it as a warning to stay away from my Heero._

_Sincerely,_

_Relena Darlian Peacecraft, Queen of the World_ '

 

               “What are you up to, Baka?" Heero asked as Duo walked toward the front door with a now loaded shotgun.

 

               “I’m going hunting for bitches. She will learn never to touch Shinigami's hair." Duo replied over his shoulder as he walked out the door. A moment later the two Asian teens follow the American, Wufei because he wanted to see the demise of the weak onna, and Heero because he, well, also wanted to the see the demise of his stalker. It wasn't as if the world needed her anymore. After convening Duo that it would be easier to drive to Relena home that walk, the three ex-pilots drove up to the Peacecrap pink mansion. After hiding Duo new toy, the trio walked to Relena office. She lunged herself at Heero as soon as he walked through the door.

 

               " HHHHEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOO!!! I knew you would come to your true love one day!" The bitch said as she hugged the life out of Heero.

 

               **Click-click**

Soon she was looking down the barrel of the shotgun.

 

               “What is the meaning of this?" Relena asked. Duo grinned evilly as he quoted something he had heard form a 20-century movie called a Knights Tale. (1)

 

               " You have been weighed," **BANG** He shot her in the left leg.

               " You have measured," **BANG** He shot the other leg.

               " And you have been found wanted dead by Shinigami." Ok, he twisted it around a bit. " Never touch the braid bitch." **BANG BANG** He shot both arms.

 

               " Heero, stop him." Relena said. Heero just shook his head as Wufei passed him the popcorn.

 

               **BANG** Ding, Dong the witch is Dead played in the back ground as Duo shot her a final time in the head. He dropped in gun as the other two teens clapped at his performance.

 

               “Good show Maxwell." Wufei said as he picked up the gun from the ground and Heero guided Duo out the door before anyone found them there. “For once I'm gonna treat you to some pie and coffee."

 

The moral of the story, children, is to never touch the braid.

 

THE END

****

Updated 5-3-13 – Just corrected from spelling and grammar mistakes. Changed the format from notepad to word.

 

(1)    At the time I wrote this, I had just seen ‘A Knights Tale’ and that quote was stuck in my mind at the time.


End file.
